


IDFC

by sailorcoven



Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Anal Sex, Angst, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Injury, Inspired by Music, M/M, Misunderstandings, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Roommates, theres depicted sex but its kinda brushed over quickly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-22
Updated: 2017-11-22
Packaged: 2019-02-05 09:42:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12791862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sailorcoven/pseuds/sailorcoven
Summary: A music fic inspired by a song of the same title by Blackbear.“But I don’t fucking care.” Kenny spat. “At all.”





	IDFC

**Author's Note:**

> uuuhh sorry

Kenny relished in the morning light that was filtering through the shitty curtains that adorned his dorm room window. He turned over in bed locking eyes with Craig. Blue crashed with blue like two oceans meeting. 

“I love you.” Craig said rolling onto his back grabbing his pack of marlboros lighting one up.   
“Good, cause I have hella feelings for you.” Kenny grinned and grabbed the cigarette from Craig’s hand taking a drag. “You’re too good for me.” maybe. He added the last part in his head doubting himself and the universe as it was never fair to him.

Most mornings began like this and Kenny felt himself getting better, becoming happy. This scared him. That a person could make him care so much. He had spent his whole life not caring, he didn’t fucking care. But the truth was he was fucking scared. Everything in his life has always eventually crumbled and he was so fucking scared. 

Things lead to another and they decided it would be easier to just move in together in a little shitty apartment near Metro. It made sense monetarily and it made sense emotionally to Kenny. Metro was the university they went to downtown which created a perfect opportunity to pop the small mountain town bubble they held in their hearts. They didn’t change too much as they had always been adaptable people but Kenny knew Craig had changed. He wasn’t as insecure and closed off as the nicotine addicted boy he met back in South Park. Sure Craig was still addicted to cigarettes but he was stronger now.

Kenny and Craig went to a lot of parties, and a lot may be an understatement as it was almost every night they went out. This was until Kenny broke his ankle doing a stupid skate trick on some stairs which he really knew he couldn’t do. But even though he and Craig had been ‘dating’ for a few months he still wanted to impress him. Kenny had broken his right ankle and knew if it didn’t heal properly he might not properly skate again so he actually followed doctor's orders to stay off it. This gave him time to just rest and a realization he really didn’t mind staying home on the weekends, he even raised his grades in the process for the first time in his life. He wasn’t worried at first about the distance between him and Craig until Craig had some friends over that Kenny had never met and he introduced him as his roommate, not boyfriend, and not even friend. It stung and it made him think. He questioned if he and Craig were really dating or if it was in his head. He knew things had changed since high school. Craig told Kenny he loved him and Kenny said the same but he realized nothing else was explicitly said.

Kenny and Craig had always had a sex thing, ever since high school they found each other after parties drunk and open to suggestion. Two stupid boys who pretended they were too cool for school and didn’t care. At that point in high school Kenny knew that he wasn’t the only one Craig fooled around with, but that went the same way for both of them and it worked. It wasn’t until college that Kenny started to feel like there could be more and Craig initiated it. He said he loved him and treated him right behind closed doors, and maybe it was just a plot to make Kenny more willing, but Kenny hoped it wasn’t. He told himself that he didn’t fucking care and even if they were lies they were pretty. He wanted Craig to look him in the face and tell him that he loved him even if it’s fake. He wanted to feel something even if it was truly empty. He knew his sad fate, maybe it was destiny for him to never truly be happy for longer than a month.

Craig started coming home later and stopped trying to invite Kenny to parties out with him. The only time he seemed to pay attention to him is when they were in bed. Craig would take control in bed and just call Kenny ‘Ken’ which would make him melt. Craig made up a lie every night as if they fell in love over and over again each time. This dream like state would leave when Kenny would wake up in the morning in bed alone. Craig would go out for a run before his morning classes which he used to do after his morning classes to have breakfast with Kenny. But people change and care less as time goes on and Kenny now woke up alone in the morning. Kenny used to think he was strong and maybe that was true then. Hardened by poverty, childhood trauma, and a harsh mountain town. He was strong then and maybe finding happiness and falling in love in his warm apartment in the city while he studied art made him soft. 

As time went on Craig even started coming home even later due to partying. The sex stopped being the only meaningful thing because it became a quick romp before they went to bed. Kenny knew then that he has become too soft and that it fucking hurt. He wished he didn’t fucking care. This all seemed to come to a final clash one night when Craig came home after being out all night, slurring all his words and smelling like someone else. 

“Craig?” Kenny asked getting up from the couch hearing a clash of something falling on the floor in the kitchen. 

“Uhhh, yeah it’s me.” Craig stumbled out of the kitchen hair ruffled, buttom up half undone and eyes bloodshot. “I’m gonna go to bed Ken…” He said trying to evade the inevitable. 

Kenny felt like a housewife who just found her husband cheating on her and he really hated that. He hated the realization that even this was temporary and maybe he did fucking care. He was fucking scared because here goes his entire university life about to be crumbled by a simple question. “Who?” 

Craig sighed chest heaving then relaxing as he ran his fingers nervously through his hair. “Ken,” He slurred pausing for a moment. “Listen, I love you.” 

Kenny could tell he was lying by the way his eyes evaded him. “Craig,” 

He cut him off. “I’m only a fool for you.” Craig smiled in a way that he knew would absolutely melt Kenny’s heart. He owned him. “And you’re too good for me.” He said using Kenny’s own words against him walking forward putting his hands on Kenny’s waist.

“You know what Craig?” Kenny sighed leaning into him. “I don’t fucking care.” He said kissing him. He lied to himself, but at that moment he decided he wanted to be strong again. 

Craig smiled and kissed back sloppily letting his hands run all over the shorter boy. He pushed Kenny back gently guiding him messily to the bedroom. Once they managed to get into the dimly lit bedroom he slammed him onto the mattress moving to mark up Kenny’s neck. 

Kenny moaned loving the feeling of Craig’s lips against his throat. “Oh fuck,” He gasped letting Craig take off both of their shirts. This felt electric even though it was just lust overlaying a sham. Lips trailed down his chest, his stomach, and then his pants were roughly pulled off. 

Craig grinned and started palming Kenny over his boxers moving back up to capture his lips. He wanted this badly and he knew how to get it. He knew he was fucked up but so was Kenny so maybe they were perfect for eachother. The truth was that he didn’t recognize this as anything different from high school. Craig just didn't recognize that he and Kenny were fucked up in different ways.

Kenny let this quickly go alone and soon enough Craig had prepared him and slowly pushed inside him. Kenny’s back arched and he let out a gasp feeling himself being filled. “Oh Craig,” He latched onto the brunette above him kissing at his neck feeling him thrust. Kenny was so overcome with raw emotion of hurt, sadness, lust ,and love that it didn’t take long for him to finish and Craig followed quickly after. In the aftermath Kenny lay on the bed watching as craig gently wiped away the evidence of their endeavours from their bodies with his discarded shirt. It felt too intimate for the events that happened before but he would take what he could get. 

They laid next to each other in bed and Craig wrapped an arm around Kenny pressing a kiss to his forehead. Once again a way too intimate gesture in Kenny’s mind for the circumstances. Kenny turned over onto his side facing away from Craig sighing letting his body relax feeling the weight in his chest get heavier with grief for the loss of hope. After a moment he heard the heavy breathing of his partner indicating that Craig had fallen asleep letting out gentle snores. Kenny finally let a few tears slip just to get them out. He hoped that would make him feel better but it really didn’t so he closed his eyes and decided to try to go to bed. He wanted to be strong again. 

“I don’t fucking care,” Kenny whispered to himself letting his consciousness slip off to dreamland. He told himself that he didn’t fucking care, but it was a lie like Craig saying he loved him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. It's my current favorite song and I really wanted to do something with it.


End file.
